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From time to time, a straight guy will admit that he' s not comfortable showering with gay men. He's afraid we'll be looking at him, sizing him up, and will possibly approach him for sexual contact. New Orleans Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma was recently quoted as saying that he'd be uncomfortable showering with a gay man in the locker room: "Imagine if he's the guy next to me How am I supposed to respond? Most gay men have responded to his remark by saying, "Don't flatter yourself" and adding, "We've been showering with you most of our lives, and we know how to be appropriate. I like those responses, but there's one we're shying away from, and this truth deserves to be said: "Yes!

Vilma and all the other straight men who feel this way? Feel flattered.

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Say "thank you" or simply walk away. But so many straight men can't, because no one has ever taught them how to respond to other men's assertive - and sometimes aggressive - sexual advances.

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Straight men know how they can act when pursuing women. They know they can be aggressive and not take "no" for an answer. They know they can be crude and use their eyes and body language to pursue a woman even if she feels uncomfortable.

They naturally assume that gay men are the same way.

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And maybe some are. However, the solution isn't for straight men to attack gay men and take offense from a victim position: "Poor me, having to feel like for a woman when a man sexualizes me!

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My message is to man up! Increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. If a gay or bisexual man finds you sexually attractive, take it as a very high compliment. We gay men are picky and won't hit on just any man we happen to be attracted to. We have self-control.

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We have years of practice and experience in locker rooms being appropriate and mindful. We know how to look without being obvious and not making anyone uncomfortable.

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In any locker room, all men - straight, bisexual and gay - look at one another. Str8 Cruising In Public Shower. Three Buddies Showering - Part 2.

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